CWG Blog » My Life

Bathroom Humor

CWG — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 17:41:41 +0000

Sorry, but I like bathroom humor. I think jokes about toilets and bodily functions are funny. So sue me. So are jokes about popular TV shows and movies. This has all three areas covered.

This one made me laugh out loud. Not LOL – but REALLY laugh out loud.

Why Mr Green Jeans?

CWG — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 17:35:29 +0000

Back in the 1950s there was a popular kid’s TV show called, Captain Kangaroo. I have no idea why that man was called Kangaroo – he was a fat old guy with grey hair and a bushy grey moustache and he didn’t hop around or have an Australian accent. Where did kangaroo come from?

One of the other regular characters on his show was a tall thin guy called, Mr Green Jeans. Again, I have no idea where that name came from. He wore farmer overalls – that were blue denim, not green. And they weren’t jeans – they were farmers overalls. So what was up with these weird names? Just trying to be juvenile?

Late Night TV Reeks

CWG — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 21:31:14 +0000

If you are ever having to deal with insomnia and turn on the TV at 3:00 in the morning hoping for some distraction or something that will help put you to sleep, you will be greatly disappointed.

The late night TV has disintegrated into nothing but 30 minute infomercials for all kinds of crap. There are “shows” about makeup, exercise, pyramid schemes and handy kitchen gadgets that no one ever uses after the first week that you try them. It’s awful.

I couldn’t stand it – they were not relaxing. They were annoying and made me feel agitated. So I put a movie in the DVD player and fell asleep to Oceans 11. Don’t ask me why, but that movie was easy on the ears and I’ve seen it a dozen times, so I fell right asleep. Thank you, George Clooney and troupe.

Backstage Passes

CWG — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 10:00:15 +0000

Have you ever gotten a backstage pass for a concert or show? I think that would be a really great privilege, to hang out backstage and see what the performers are going through to get dressed, make up and hair done for the show. Or are you allowed to see that?

I wonder if you can hang out while they are getting made up or do you have to wait in a hallway and just get an autograph while they walk by? Do you even get to see or hear the show? Someone fill me in.

Chili Dogs and Onion Rings

CWG — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 10:25:52 +0000

I’m hungry. In fact, I’m jonesing for a chili dog. Around here, the best place to get a chili dog is Sonic. Which is cool, because Sonic makes the best fried onion rings, too. So that’s my plan for lunch – I’ll be leaving for the nearest Sonic Drive In around 11:30.

Where are you going?

Where Did My Hairdresser Go?

CWG — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 12:20:57 +0000

For years I have been going to Great Clips in Hermitage to get my hair cut once a month. So now that I think about it, that’s a lot of money over the years. I always go to Crystal, as she does a good job with my hair – just like I want it. And she’s nice, makes conversation while she’s working on me, and I know she has a couple of little kids that she’s supporting.

So today I go to get my haircut and Crystal isn’t there. No big deal, I can go back in a couple of days, right?

Wrong! She’s quit. I am stunned. How am I supposed to find where Crystal is at and if she is still cutting hair? The other girls at the Great Clips wouldn’t tell me where she went. So I’m thinking there must have been some great drama about her working there and she either got fired or quit in a big scene and all the people still working there hate her or have been told by management to not let any of her regular customers know where she went. That just pisses me off.

Twins of Different Mothers

CWG — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 16:57:46 +0000

Have you ever met someone who is so much like you in their attitude, their tastes, their outlook, that you feel like you are talking to a clone of yourself? I call that being a twin of different mothers.

Years ago I met someone who liked all the same music that I did – and that is hard to find because I really like a lot of strange and obscure bands. It really freaked me out to find someone who knew the names of all the bands when they heard the song on the radio station that I play in my car.

That was fun while it lasted, and so far I have never found anyone else with the same musical tastes as mine.

Barking Dogs

CWG — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 18:06:59 +0000

As much as I love my neighbor, her dog is driving me NUTS. It is a big Golden Retriever, which is supposed to be a great family dog. That’s fine, as it is better to live next to a friendly family dog than a Pitbull or Chow. But her dog barks ALL DAY LONG when she is not home. It is completely annoying and I’m reluctant to complain, but I can’t even think straight sometimes when that dog is barking constantly for hours!

New Pillows

CWG — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 09:12:09 +0000

Last night I could not get comfortable and sleep well. Of course, I have a lot on my mind. But I blame my flat and worn out pillows for most of the insomnia. I am going to buy some new pillows today. Not the cheap $10 pillows from WalMart. I want nice, feather and down pillows, from either Macy’s or Bed Bath and Beyond. I don’t care how much they cost. I need my sleep and a good pillow is a big part of that equation.

Slow and Easy Today

CWG — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 12:08:07 +0000

New Year’s Eve was just too much fun We went downtown for the big street party. They had music on the riverfront stage, with the main act, Lynyrd Skynyrd. They rocked this town at midnight, let me tell you! We didn’t get home until almost 4:00 am. Today is going to be slow and easy – I am so glad I don’t have to work until Wednesday!